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#55 - Mickey and the Beanstalk

by Walt Disney

This is an old Disney book which we’ve read dozens of times over the years, but I don’t think I’ve ever counted it before, so here goes. It casts Mickey in the role of Jack in an otherwise standard version of this fairy tale. and is one of my son’s favourite bedtime books, because we have so much fun doing silly character voices, and adding additional dialogue and text to the story when we read it, ending up with a rather subversive, and non-traditional telling of the Jack and the Beanstalk story. Things like, “And then Mickey, that verminous little thief, stole the giant’s bag of gold, even though the giant had never done ANYTHING bad to Mickey,” and “Mickey threw down the bag of gold, where it bashed Donald Duck in the head. Fortunately, he wasn’t harmed, since he doesn’t have a brain,” and “Then Mickey MURDERED the giant by chopping down the beanstalk,” and “The three friends lived happily ever after, until the bad karma of Mickey’s evil actions caught up with them, and they were all reincarnated as slugs.” Stuff like that. Oh, and I usually do the giant’s dialogue in my best Dame Edna voice.

It’s a hoot to read it this way, and I feel like I’m giving my son a bit of a moral lesson, too. While we may go a bit overboard in villifying poor Mickey, really, this IS a messed up story. Mickey/Jack basically breaks and enters into this giant’s castle, steals his stuff, and then murders him so he doesn’t get in trouble. No provocation – and we can assume that the harp, at least, was happy where she was, or she wouldn’t have called out to the giant when she was being kidnapped, right? LOL! So, we have a lot of fun with this book, even though, as books go, it’s not particularly inspired. It’s also not a good bedtime book, since we always end up laughing hysterically over something or other, which isn’t particularly condusive to getting my son to sleep soon afterwards. All things considered, though, 8/10 for sustained entertainment value.



( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 4th, 2006 05:34 pm (UTC)
Well, that's just blasphemy! LOL

And, no court in the land would convict Mickey of Murder. At worst, it would be considered Involuntary Manslaughter... :P

And the harp? Female right? Stroke it the right way and it will stay with a giant ogre! No matter that he never takes her anywhere or has his friends over for dinner to meet her. Nope. Bet he doesn't even call when he's out hunting for weeks at a time, even though he promised he would. LMBO

And, you read a children's book in a transvestite's voice!?!?!?? LMAO (Besides, Mrs Doubtfire would sound much better with JatBs. Edna's more a Snow White-type of voice...) :-)
Jul. 4th, 2006 07:29 pm (UTC)
LOL! I should have known you'd try to defend that deliquent mouse. Involuntary? He picked up and axe and CHOPPED! At BEST that's second degree murder, and I think an argument could be made for first degree, since (in this version of the story), it happened after his THIRD trip up the beanstalk. He just HAPPENED to have the axe handy? Sounds like premeditation to me. Oh yeah, you just TRY to get the mouse out of this one (of course, I know you'll use any tactics necessary - like dragging your wife and baby into the courtroom to get sympathy. I'm onto you, M. You'll get nothing past ME). Bwah!

And LOL about the giant's voice - originally, it started out with K doing a serious giant's voice, and C complained that it was too scary. (Which was BS, as far as I'm concerned - C was just saying it to be contrary). But in an attempt to placate him, I started doing the giant in a woman's voice, and it stuck. :D

(Oh, and I just can't think about Dame Edna and Snow White in the same sentence. It makes my head hurt). ;)
Jul. 5th, 2006 01:57 am (UTC)
On the 4th of July? You would blast an American Icon of this of all days?!?!?! I never!!!

"As you can see by looking at my wife and child behind me your Honor, I'm a God-fearin', Brave, Pat-tree-otic 'Meri-cun! This here Mouse did no such thing sirss. He was mindededs hissums own biznass, just out cuttin' down some wood to keppp his youngins warm. And BLAM! this here Giant fell from the sky. Now, Iz axes ya'll if that doesn't sound like it was idolotry mansausage to you? I say, it twas an ax-see-dent! Set the mouse freeeeee!"

"Well little girl, how would you like an apple? Don't look under the nice witch's corset. You don't know what you'll find...." LOL
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
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