Wendy (here_be_dragons) wrote,

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The Titanic (w/Catherine Zeta-Jones; NOT the James Cameron version)

I'll cut this for spoilers. (THE SHIP SANK!). Oops. Nevermind about that cut, huh? The short review: this movie STANK. If you want a few more of the sad details . . .

This was bad bad bad. The worst “Titanic” film I’ve seen, and that’s saying something, since “SOS Titanic” also really sucked. But this one was worse. It had potential. Well, of course it did. This is a great backdrop for a drama, and there’s no need to go beyond historical events and real people. Except that whomever wrote this script did a horrible job with characterizations. They took all the worst rumors about people and ran with them, turning the historical figures into caricatures, rather than characters: Captain Smith running around shouting at people; Ismay below deck giving orders to the crew (???), then sneaking furtively onto the lifeboat with a crowd of people struggling to get on behind him. At the start, I was pleased to see them bring in one of the more interesting stories that I’d not seen included in a film before: Alice Cleaver and the Allison family. Unfortunately, they managed to turn this story into a farce as well. Alice was overly pathetic (why was she screaming in the lifeboat? I wanted to scream from the stupdity of it), but even worse, they turned the Allisons into complete idiots. Halfway through, I found myself feeling GLAD that the bitchy and hysterical Mrs. Allison and bratty little Lorraine were going to die when the ship sank. Not really the way to frame a tragedy. Oh, and what the heck was Tim Curry thinking when he agreed to play the psycho-rapist steward? There are so many other things I could mention, but if I were to put down everything I dislked, it would take me longer than it took to watch this stupid film. Bad bad bad. Even if you are a big “Titanic” fan, skip this one. It sucked. 2/10

(Real entry soon. Maybe even tomorrow. With pictures)!

ETA: some clarification about this film. This film was a "miniseries" starring Catherine Zeta-Jones and Peter Galagher. This is not a review of the 1997 James Cameron film starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet. I like the James Cameron film. :)
Tags: films, titanic

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